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1.
What is the "Universal
Need?"
2. What is the ultimate broken
trust in marriage?
3. What does Dave Ramsey call
the "Plastic surgery"
that every body needs?
4. What are the four rules of
validation?
5. What are the four attributes
of setting an effective
boundary?
ANSWERS:
1. The universal need: to
feel that I am of worth, my
feelings matter, and someone
really cares about me.
(p. 52)
2. Adultery is the
ultimate broken trust. (p.
46)
3. Plastic surgery:
cutting up your credit cards.
(p. 183)
4. Four rules of validation:
Listen, listen, listen and
understand. (p. 120-121)
5. Four attributes of setting
boundaries: Be kind,
gentle, respectful, and firm.
(p. 147)
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This
recipe is a family tradition
that we enjoy doing with our
kids and grandkids. The
whole process is a fun and
joyful experience for our
family. Do it together as a
couple with your children.
Eating the dough along the way
is as much fun as eating the
baked cookies.
Ingredients:
5 cups flour sifted
1 tsp salt
1/4 tsp nutmeg
1/2 tsp cloves
3 Tbsp cinnamon
1 tsp ginger
1 1/8 tsp. baking powder
1 cup shortening
1 1/4 cup sugar
1 egg beaten
1 cup light molasses
1/3 cup water
Directions:
Mix together shortening, sugar,
then add egg. molasses and
water, then mix in the rest.
Refrigerate for an hour or so
(or overnight), roll and cut
out. Bake at 350 for 8 - 10
minutes.
Number of servings: Makes
enough to fill four cookie
sheets.
For more information about the
Lundbergs and other recipes they
enjoy visit: http://www.lundbergcompany.com
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| IN THIS ISSUE:
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Love
That Lasts: Fourteen secrets to a more
joyful, passionate, and fulfilling
marriage
Nearly
every couple has some degree of
difficulty in their marriage-even LDS
couples. Most are resigned to it, but
Gary and Joy Lundberg believe there is a
solution. Drawing on their expertise as
a marriage counselor and as marriage
workshop leaders, Gary and Joy Lundberg
assert this doesn't have to be so. In Love
That Lasts, they reveal the
fourteen secrets every spouse should
know to keep marriage joyful,
passionate, and fulfilling. These
secrets cover everything from finances
and parenting to communication and
intimacy, from being each other's best
friend to preserving a sense of humor,
and the surprising power of courtesy.
The Lundbergs address the differing
needs of men and women and offer
sensitive, realistic, and
easy-to-understand solutions to healing
the hurt, enhancing communication, and
achieving emotional satisfaction.
Brimming with fresh ideas and advice
that works, this book is filled with
stories of couples who have changed
their marriages for the better. Love
That Lasts also includes practical
exercises, quizzes, tips, techniques,
and topics for discussion that will help
you understand and make the most of your
relationship.
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Q&A
with Gary & Joy Lundberg
1.
What caused you to begin writing this
book?
We are deeply concerned about the number
of divorces, both in and out of the
Church. Families are being torn apart,
children and adults are suffering scars
that can last a life time. Our goal is
to help stop divorce and bring happiness
into marriage. The effects of divorce
are far reaching. Elder Bruce C. Hafen,
a lawyer and one of the Church's General
Authorities, said, "Divorce can
inflict such psychological damage on
children that its long-term consequences
are in some ways similar to the damage
of child abuse, which can last a
lifetime." There is nothing more
comforting to a child than to have a
mother and father married to each other
and working toward their earthly and
eternal happiness, even after the
children are grown and on their own. It
is the most unselfish kind of love they
will ever give their children and each
other.
In Gary's practice as a marriage and
family therapist, clients will ask him
what they can do to improve their
marriage or rebuild it. They are looking
for specific things to do. This book
gives them those specific ideas that we
call secrets. These are practical
approaches, not theoretical.
2. Did you have any interesting
experiences while writing this book?
We surveyed over 400 people around the
U.S. and asked, "What makes
marriage miserable?" That may seem
like a negative approach, but we knew if
we asked what makes marriage happy we'd
likely receive a lot of similar, flowery
responses. As it was, with this question
people went right to the heart of what
marriages were lacking. It proved to be
a very informative survey. In the
process, many expressed what brought joy
into their marriages as well.
3. What do you hope people come
away with after reading your book?
We hope they find answers. We hope
couples will be filled with excitement
as they look to a future of happiness
with their mates; that they'll see their
marriage in a whole new light of
understanding. We hope they catch the
feeling that marriage can be fun and
deeply rewarding. If they are newlyweds,
we hope this sets a pattern for a
lifetime of love and caring for each
other. If they've been married for many
years, we hope it makes their marriage
even more desirable and joyful. If they
are contemplating divorce, we hope they
will begin to work on their marriage and
recapture the love and happiness that
can be theirs.
4. What kind of research did you
do for this book, and how long did it
take?
It took 53 years of married life
together and many years of clinical
practice as a marriage and family
therapist. Along with that, we
research writings of other professionals
whom we admire. We are involved in an
ongoing process of learning from life's
experiences and the experiences of
others. We worked on writing this book
about one year.
5. Share something with us that most
people don't know about you.
Gary was born and raised in a big city,
Washington DC, while Joy was raised on a
small farm in Vale, Oregon. He came from
a small family of three boys, she from a
large family of seven boys and two
girls. Gary's graduating class was the
size of Joy's entire high school. They
met at BYU. Do you think they had some
adjusting to do? Oh, yes! And it
worked. All five of their children
(three boys and two girls) are adopted.
Love that Lasts is available at Deseret
Book, Seagull Book, and Independent
LDS bookstores.
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